ATTENTION BLOG VIEWERS! This post would not be
possible without the help from my friend, Aidan N.
Do you really know Santa? Sure he may be big and jolly on the outside, but remember. Never judge a book by its cover. Today I will be going inside that jolly old fellow. Lets take a look at who he really is. (Please do not take any offense if you do not like the fact that I make Santa look bad. It is only a story made for purposes of fun.) Enjoy! 🙂
Anime Abhi: Hello Santa!
Santa: Helllloooo Abhi. Are you having a jolly good day?
Anime Abhi: Yeah…
Anime Abhi: So lets get down to business. What is your real name?
Santa: Well its Santa of course!
Anime Abhi: Really?
Santa: Of course.
Anime Abhi: But look right here I pulled some strings, and I found your birth certificate right before this interview. 🙂
Santa: Oh no he has my birth certificate what am I going to do.
Anime Abhi: So lets take a look shall we. Anime Abhi takes out an envelope. And pulls Santa’s birth certificate out.
Santa: Wait. Wait. Wait. Come on now. Do you reaalllly need the birth certificate. Who knows, it might be a fake.
Anime Abhi: If it is a fake, then there’s no harm done.
Santa: I insist. Please, don’t open it.
Anime Abhi: hmm-mm… Why so secretive Santa? hmmmmm. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Anime Abhi: Lets take a look at it shall we.
Anime Abhi: What is it now?
Santa: well, Um, the thing is. Wait I know. Lets all sing a Christmas carol.
Anime Abhi: Okay. I’ll start. “Deck the halls with boughs of jolly. We are are are are… going to open it.”
Anime Abhi: Santa! No wonder you didn’t want me to open it!
Santa: Yes! Finally you understand. So you aren’t going to tell anyone right?
Anime Abhi: Of course.
Anime Abhi: Not!
Anime Abhi: Psyche
Anime Abhi: So Santa your real name is…
Anime Abhi: Fatty Mc Smelly Pants
Santa: Nooooo! Of course not. I mean. What makes you think that. Old Pal. Or should I say New Pal.
Anime Abhi: Speaking of new.
Anime Abhi: Your age is… One week old!?
Anime Abhi: How is that even possible.
Santa: It must have been a typo. Come on. What? Do you really think I am a week old.
Santa: I mean, seriously. It’s not like I’m a clone created by the CIA to stalk you and gather Intel on you. Ho Ho Ho.
Anime Abhi: Um…
Anime Abhi: Actually…
Anime Abhi: It says right here that what you just said was true…
Santa: That is a story for another day.
Anime Abhi: But for right now lets change the subject.
Santa: No complaints here.
Anime Abhi: How many people are on your good list this year?
Santa: Hmm let me see. Santa took out a loooooooooooooooong scroll that was ten miles long, and started to count.
Ten excruciatingly long hours later…
Santa: Nine hundred ninety-nine million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine.
Santa: 1 billion
Anime Abhi: So are you done?
Anime Abhi: So what I am hearing is. That you have 1 billion people on your good list?
Santa:No. Are you crazy?!
Anime Abhi: No. So how much do you have?
Santa: I have exactly Zero people on my good list.
Anime Abhi: What!!!!!????
Anime Abhi: I am not on your good list?!
Santa: Well whats your name? Maybe I have you on my list.
Anime Abhi: Never mind?
Santa: Hmmm… I am not sure that I have a “Never mind” on my list.
Anime Abhi: Yeah… Okay…
Anime Abhi: So… How many people do you have on your Naughty list?
Santa: Exactly… Gimme a day or two This might take a while…
Santa threw the empty nice list away and pulled out a scroll that wrapped around the earth 100 times.
100 excruciating eons later.
Santa: I have exactly zero people on my naughty list.
Anime Abhi: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!
Santa: Let’s see shall we…
Anime Abhi: Here we go again.
Santa: I have a scroll of my problems somewhere around here.
Santa: But I have to warn you. It wraps around the universe several times.
Anime Abhi: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Santa: Okay. Okay. No need to go trough all that trouble anyway.
Anime Abhi: Do you even have a Nice and Naughty list?
Anime Abhi: Then What were those scrolls about anyway?
Santa: What scrolls?
Anime Abhi: 🙁
Anime Abhi: If you don’t have those lists… Then what about the song that goes “He’s making a list. And he’s checking it twice.”
Santa: That must have been the other santas.
Anime Abhi: I thought there was only one Santa.
Santa: Remember I am a clone.
Anime Abhi: Oh… But then the song goes, ” Santa Claus is coming… To town.
Santa: What town do I go to.
Anime Abhi: Every Christmas you give presents to the good boys and girls right?
Anime Abhi: Then if that isn’t your occupation, what is your occupation.
Santa: Well it’s bringing presents to all the good children in the world. That is what Santa Claus is all about.
Anime Abhi: Oh for the love of-
So there you go That is all for now. If you want to hear the story of Santa Claus and the Clones. Just make sure to comment on my blog. If at least ten people comment saying to make the story. Then I will. Until then. Enjoy The Holiday season. 🙂